Pilot

10:30AM, The Greens, Los Angeles.

Danny comes in, wearing a purple satin silk robe which looks ridiculous and slippery. He struts and enters the bar, as only a few workers are preparing for the opening. Della, who was working on the books, looks up and sighs.


 * Della : No, not again..


 * Danny : Yes, this again. The Saint Hefner Day!


 * Della : Oh, man..


 * Danny : Come on! You used to love Hefner Day, see? Here's a cigar for you, here. Take a bump.

Danny offers her a cigar and unwraps it. Della closes the book, takes the cigar but breaks it into two.


 * Danny : I've got another one!

Danny lits another cigar and tries to take a sip, but Della takes it away and smashes it, again.


 * Danny : Come on! Have some fun, light it up, sis!


 * Della : No.


 * Danny : Just celebrate your big ol' bro's first threeway, 2002! Today I'm going for an ORGY!


 * Della : Danny, I asked you to do ONE thing! To shut up and do nothing!


 * Danny : ...Technically, that's two.


 * Della : Ughhh!! Shut up! Shut up! Shut, the, fuck, up!!

Della smashes the broken cigars to the ground, pounding the bar table like crazy. A little frightened, Danny slowly nods.


 * Danny : Okay.. Calm down.. I think your anger is coming up again.


 * Della : (Sighs) Just.. Just take off that stupid robe before I punch you in the face and smack that nose, seriously.


 * Danny : Alright, alright. This was a very expensive nose job, so calm down. Not that, you know.. you can actually beat me up...


 * Della : Oh, you know I can... What the hell is this?

Thick fume rises from the ground; Della looks down at the floor, just to discover Sid smoking the smashed cigar while lying on the floor.


 * Sid : Man, this shit is goood! You rich people are crazy, throwing this beautiful thing away..


 * Della : Sid, get up and look at this clown. Say something.


 * Sid : You know, the only cigar I had was from China town, and it looked like a long- wooden stick, you know? Really slim. They gave me two, so I saved one for special occasions.


 * Danny : Hey, what do you think? Hefner Day! Huh? Huh?

Sid gets up and looks at Danny's clothes. Danny offers him to feel the satin robe.


 * Sid : Shit, that feels like a- a rat fur!


 * Danny : Hey! This is 100-percent silk, shame on you.


 * Sid : No, no. Those rat furs are golden, the really big ones are bigger than a cat.


 * Della : Oh, my...

While Sid kept feeling up the robe, Della checks her phone for a new text.


 * Sid : This thing is amazing, man! Can I have one?


 * Danny : Haha, fo' Shizzle, ma man! (makes a desperate action to seem cool)


 * Sid : Oh, oh! Let's have a party here, tonight- wearing robes, smoking cigars!


 * Danny : Yess!! That's what I'm talking about!


 * Sid : Free beers and liquors- for men! Not women! No women allowed!


 * Danny : Oh- okay, there's a.. little disagreement, but... generally YES!


 * Sid : Only men in this bar tonight, no women! Even Nikki! None shall pass!


 * Danny : That's not--.. Look what we have, Della! A raging party! In your FACE!

Danny brags in front of Della, making wierd black rapper gestures. Della, after checking her e-mail, prepares to leave.


 * Della : Congratulations. You teamed up with a man who smoked a chopstick.


 * Sid : What? Who's that guy? Stupid bitch! Haha!

11:03, District Court, Los Angeles